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I can't keep doing this alone

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

Quick answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

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Home›By Situation›I can't keep doing this alone

If you are reading this at 2 a.m., that is information. Caregiver exhaustion is not a character flaw, and there is more free support in most metros than families ever find.

Short answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

What to do, in order

  1. Take the exhaustion seriously as a clinical fact. Caregiver strain predicts poor outcomes for both people.
  2. Use respite before you are desperate. New York's CareScout adult day health care median is $144/day ($3,120/month); the NHTD waiver and Managed Long Term Care can help cover it for Medicaid-eligible seniors.
  3. Take the free support that exists here. Nassau County Office for the Aging (516-227-8900) and Suffolk County Office for the Aging (631-853-8200) both run caregiver support programs at no cost.
  4. Get a second opinion on the plan. Your county's Area Agency on Aging will review options at no cost.
  5. Name the thing you are avoiding. Most caregivers know what the next step is months before they take it.

Questions families ask

How do we know it's actually time to move my parent out of their home?

There's no single trigger, but common signals include a recent fall or hospitalization, a new or worsening dementia diagnosis, the primary family caregiver reaching burnout, or private funds running low relative to ongoing care costs, any of which typically prompts a first call to the Nassau (516-227-8900) or Suffolk (631-853-8200) County Office for the Aging to understand available options before deciding.

What is Nassau County's Area Agency on Aging, and how do I reach them?

Nassau County's Area Agency on Aging is its Office for the Aging, part of the Department of Human Services, located at 60 Charles Lindbergh Blvd., Uniondale, NY 11553, phone 516-227-8900. Nassau was the first county government in the nation to establish a dedicated agency for its 60-plus population.

What is Suffolk County's Area Agency on Aging, and how do I reach them?

Suffolk County's Area Agency on Aging is its Office for the Aging, explicitly designated the Area Agency on Aging under the Older Americans Act, located at the H. Lee Dennison Building, 100 Veterans Memorial Highway, Hauppauge, NY 11788, phone 631-853-8200. The office has administered federal, state, and county aging programs for nearly 50 years.

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